Valerie Bertinelli Opens Up About the Trauma She Experienced During Her Marriage to Tom Vitale


Valerie Bertinelli took to Instagram to detail some of the trauma she experienced while married to Tom Vitale. It started on Monday when the former One Day at a Time actress posted a video of her lip-syncing a trending sound that says, “Oh my god, oh my god, why would you do that?” followed by, “I don’t know.”

In the video, she wrote, “Why did you let them stay after finding the texts?” – which initially left a lot of her followers confused. She was apparently talking about abusive and rude text messages she received from her ex-husband, Tom Vitale, while the two were still married. She later explained the video in her Stories.

328450053_582880740351322_3655874085428422609_nImage via Instagram


Bertinelli got engaged to Tom Vitale, a financial planner, in 2010 – roughly three years after her divorce from Eddie Van Halen was finalized. The then-happy couple got married on January 1, 2011, but Bertinelli filed for divorce in November 2021, and the divorce was finalized a year later. And now she’s moving on.

Taking to her Instagram Story, Valerie Bertinelli explained how her therapy and sobriety have caused her to relive past trauma – which is bringing up a whole world of emotions. “I’m happy because I physically feel better. I’m getting better sleep, but I’ve noticed that – oh boy – lots of feelings are coming up,” she said.

She went on to explain how she used to use food and alcohol to suppress those emotions, but those days are over – as are her days of letting others, such as her ex-husband, walk all over her. “I have been screamed at so many times and told how fat and lazy I am,” she said, speaking of her marriage to Vitale.


“I realize…that was someone just projecting on me whatever they needed to project on me, but my part in all of it was believing it, and I don’t believe it anymore. But it still doesn’t stop the feelings from coming up and the hurt,” she continued, adding she’s ‘feeling the feelings and letting them go. Giving them a voice.’

She ended her Instagram vent session with a message to her followers – don’t let others rob you of your joy and happiness with the stupid things they say about you. Don’t listen to it, don’t give it your energy, and don’t believe it. “It’s not true. Someone’s trying to dim your light. F— ’em. Shine bright,” she said.

Valerie Bertinelli Celebrates Day 31 of Alcohol Cleanse

On January 31st, Valerie Bertinelli took to Instagram to celebrate Day 31 of ‘Dry January’ – an alcohol cleanse throughout the month of January. She appeared to be on a walk somewhere and even said she might keep the cleanse going a little while longer – adding she has a dinner date coming up on Saturday.

“Happy last day of ‘Dry January.’ It is January 31st. You know what, though, I think I’m not going to drink tomorrow, either. I guess I might have a cocktail on Saturday because I have a dinner date. But other than that, I think I might keep it going a little longer. How about you?” she said in the video, with a big ‘ol smile.

Bertinelli also took to her TikTok – yes, she’s active on that, too! – to talk about all the healing she’s doing lately. In one video, she had just finished a ‘Rolfing’ appointment – which is a “form of bodywork that reorganizes the connective tissues, called fascia, that permeate the entire body. She seemed exhausted.

“There’s a release that happens that’s really helpful, I believe, and that a lot of emotional pain is stored in the body. And I’m doing my best to heal from it in every way – my therapy, my journaling, my meditation, Rolfing. And I like sharing it with you guys because a lot of you understand what I’m going through,” she added.

What do you think?