I pardoned my spouse, who was unfaithful for three and a half years, despite being married for five years.

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The woman discovered her husband’s infidelity but decided to forgive him and give him a second chance because he showed remorse and took steps to change.

Alexandrea found out about her husband’s affair after three and a half years, she decided to “forgive” him because she did not want to leave him in his “darkest moment”.

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After realizing her husband of five years, Michael, 31, had been unfaithful for most of their marriage, Alexandrea Acevedo, 26, of Orlando, Florida, found herself in a state of shock.

In December 2022, the mother of three discovered his duplicity when she discovered a message on his phone for his lover.

But Michael, who also drank and gambled, realized he needed to change after admitting the affair and leaving the family home for a week.

According to Alexandrea, at that point, her husband became “hellish” about saving their marriage, enrolling in both therapy and AA to do so. Alexandrea decided to give her husband another chance after realizing that his actions matched his contrite words.

When they first met in 2013, Alexandrea and Michael’s younger sister were great friends.

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They clicked and got married in September 2018. Their three children are seven, five, and eleven months old.

They claim they had a series of heated arguments throughout 2019 and even prepared divorce papers, but Alexandrea never believed he was having an affair.

But after seeing a few texts, her concerns grew and she began to feel that something was not quite right.

As Alexandrea snooped through Michael’s phone, she was surprised to see a private message to another lady asking, “So, why do you think he’s going to start asking?”

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“I went through his phone, which is something I don’t usually do, and I found a draft message saying ‘Why do you think he’s going to find out,’” she claimed.

“I had more than enough information to challenge him.

— it was 5 a.m. and I was mentally racing and hoping for the best.

Michael initially dismissed the texts as “random messages from a friend”.

“My husband finally told me the truth when he woke up,” she added.

Cheating is a deal breaker for me and he knew it too. At first, there was a lot of anger and hurt, but also other feelings. I had to push him to tell me the truth because we argued a lot and as soon as he did I told him to go right immediately.

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While figuring out how to proceed, Alexandrea felt hurt and deceived.

It broke her heart to learn that he was having an affair because she always spoke highly of him.

At first, Michael considered divorce because it would be “easier”.

But after a night of heavy drinking, he concluded that he had to try to make things right.

I believed it would be easier to get a divorce than to make it better from the start, the man replied. My thinking was in a bad place because I didn’t believe I could make the situation better and because of all these other factors including alcohol.

But after nearly drowning in alcohol one night, I suddenly felt like I’d give anything to have that moment. I realized that I had to improve the situation and make changes because I just couldn’t go. Realizing that I needed God in my life was the first step.

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“I used to deny it all, but now I realize that you can’t live like this.

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Meanwhile, Alexandrea admitted: “I had a cycle of irrational feelings for eight to nine days.

I would leave depressed, heartbroken, angry, confused, and then a little hopeful.

Before she decided to stop finding fault with herself, she studied book after book and sought advice from her relatives.

He did everything in his power to make amends, she added. However, as I softened, I allowed him to say more significant things and saw that his words matched his actions. I could tell he was trying. He decided to pick up a bible, attend therapy, and join AA. Now he is willing to listen carefully, be open, and dialogue with me.

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“I have moments of weakness, moments when I wonder why he didn’t lie to me again after lying to me for so long?” I didn’t want to leave him at his worst because he has always been a great husband and father and I don’t have many major complaints about him or our marriage in general. But he doesn’t want to give up and promises that if I give him a chance every day, he will continue to prove himself to me. I was surprised when I found out about the drinking and the affair and realized how much he needed someone.

“At first I felt completely and utterly like rubbish, but as time went on I kind of felt like the weight of guilt was lifted off my shoulders a little bit,” said Michael, an industrial production manager.

“I’ll regret this for a long time, if not forever. It’s without a doubt the biggest regret or mistake I’ve ever made.” While I’m sure there are better ways to get there, for now, this is where we are.

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I am as appreciative of second chances as anyone can be and I realized that I needed to stop drinking and see a therapist to feel better. Alexandrea showed much more openness than I probably would have.

At first, I didn’t want to communicate but she insisted and eventually, I started talking more and trying to make things right. We’ve been able to navigate things and we want to do better, and I feel like I’m getting better at talking about things with others. He always asks me why I don’t talk and I’ve never been a talker so I finally realized I had to talk.

“I learned more and more about his affair, which was hard to deal with,” Alexander said.

“I just stopped finding fault with myself and him and stopped finding reasons to feel bad about the circumstances and started looking for reasons to feel good about getting to where I am now. Even though I didn’t know, whatever it is, tried to make the most of the situation.

“I noticed he was trying. He was stoned and didn’t answer me before all this. He preferred drinking, gambling, and even another lady over me. The betrayal and anguish I felt when I got us here is terrible.” and I wouldn’t wish them on anyone.

But I believe that for my husband to mature and become a great husband and father, he had to experience these things or hit rock bottom.

After publicizing her experience on social media, Alexandrea received a lot of backlash for choosing to stay with Michael.

I couldn’t do it; he even kisses another woman before leaving, one individual exclaimed. Trust is broken.

Another added: “3 and a half years??? I would think of him as a stranger.

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Once is enough but for 3.5 years!? said a third.

However, some people shared their personal experiences and agreed with Alexandra’s choice.

“I’ve been in your husband’s shoes before in a very bad phase of my life, the real sign is that you have to want to be different,” one person commented.

Another said: “I read his. Our marriage is stronger now than it’s ever been but it took a lot of work. If he’s honest and you both do your part.”

In addition to advising those in a similar situation, Alexandrea defended her decision to stay married.

It’s a daily work in progress, she noted. I have my moments, but he is persistent in his efforts to understand and is determined to support me.

We are making progress day by day and trust that he will continue to do his best. I have never seen this side of my husband before.

“The person who did the affair must also be willing to reveal the truth about everything in life. Love is not a transient emotion; it’s a decision you make every day, and when you stop choosing to love someone, it’s easy to give up on them.

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